How Does a True Genius, a Professional and a Genuine Hero Select a Gift? Read On!
Friday, April 23rd, 2010Gift baskets are out of date! Or is it that they’re just boring? Actually, I hope the correct response is neither. You see, I make my living by selling gift baskets (among other food gifts). Granted, it may be less significant that solving the global warming problem or removing a pesky mouse from under your kitchen cabinet, but it’s an honest way to pay for the roof over my family’s head.
I can read your mind: “All of his gift problems are solved; year in and year out everybody on his list gets stuck with another gift basket.” I want to disabuse you of your smug attitude! In fact, I face the same dilemmas that you face during any gift giving, decision making crisis.
I don’t give only baskets of joy to my loved ones. Even if I did just give gift baskets to everyone, my choice would be only marginally easier than yours. My company alone offers scores of fruit baskets, wine gift baskets, gourmet food options and far more. (I can hear you right now, begging me to tell you where this wonderful store is. A little patience is called for on your part.)
Before you coerce me into giving away my store location, I want to share my own decision making strategy with you.
First, I decide on an appropriate category of gift. If Uncle Milton really has managed to eliminate his drinking problem after a decade of trying, then the wine gift baskets are out of the running. Instead, I’ll opt for a fruit basket with something seasonal. After years of ignoring the nutritional value of what he consumed, he could use a few extra servings of fruit in solid form.
Aunt Millie, on the other hand, is a great wine sipper. Frankly, I don’t know if she really enjoys the wine, but she sure enjoys talking about it. She thrills to have a new member of her audience so that she can explain what makes a good vintage year, the varieties of grapes that are used in her favorite blends and, especially, how much she paid for each bottle (as well as how much she paid for the carpeting you just ruined by spilling your glass). She’ll get a simple wine gift basket, but I’m not going to spring for the champagne!
My nephew, Alfred, recently married his long time girlfriend. To tell you the truth, even I agree that it’s about time. Alfred spent the last eight years trying to decide if she was worth the cost of a diamond ring. (I suspect that he eventually settled on crystal, which, considering Alfred, would be thought of as generous.) Alfred always loves to receive cash as a gift. Well, he’s not getting that from me. Instead, they’re getting a meal of live lobsters and the trimmings from me. Actually two, of course. My thinking is that this is the only way to get his bride out of the kitchen. Alfred would never pay for a restaurant meal, so, in a sense, I’m sending the restaurant to them.
My second step, after choosing a category is to select a price range that I’m willing to spend on these people. Then my wife makes me double that amount.
My perfect grandson isn’t getting a food gift. I’m getting him the latest cell phone system, complete with an unlimited calling plan. I would get him a sports car if only you would buy a lot more gift baskets!